I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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