we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
