i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
