The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
