nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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