Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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