she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
