; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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