You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
not ubering you a puppy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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