Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
