Nicole vs. Life
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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