oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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