if you like me you must not know who I am
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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