yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
