I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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