Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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