Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
