i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
