i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
