I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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