listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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