she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
