Umm I'm too high to move.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
