He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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