with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
