Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
