Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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