I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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