How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
50% drunk capacity currently
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
