i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
