Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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