and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
