I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
