I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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