cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
