Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
