Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
