Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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