if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
