Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
