now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
