I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
