My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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