You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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