how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
