Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
