"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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