this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Life is so much better after having sex.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
