look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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