I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
