the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
