I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
