Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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