Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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