I want to stick my p in your. b.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
