Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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