Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
