come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
the raccoons are back...
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