dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
