i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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