You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize